I don’t have many days when I wish I’d never gotten out of bed, but today, when the ground failed to open up and whisk me away to a quick dark death, was one of those occasions where I wished I’d rolled over, smacked the alarm, and gone back to my slumber. 

The office hive is a delicate place, there are queen bee’s, workers, drones and grubs (those that do nothing). Some you like, some you abide, some you despair at. One grub, perhaps the biggest of the office, drove me stir crazy today with her lack of movement. It was easy to understand her size as she sat awkwardly on a seat ten sizes too small for her, her perfectly manicured nails being continuously filed, her strange yet unbelievably hysterical weave flopping around her head like a dead parrot. She has one extremely well maintained office ability – that of delegation. Today it was the work ex that bore the brunt of this feature, and before long the poor girl was running around London at the grub’s beckon call. I was irate, why couldn’t grub do something, she was lucky to have this job, privileged, people would kill for a 6month paid placement on a television set. It was too much for me and in a fit of text outburst I text a friend the simple words “Lazy Fucking Cow”. 

Hmmm, now, nothing wrong with that – apart from when your subconscious actually causes you to send it too the individual you were talking about! I was mortified! I couldn’t believe I’d done it. Would she be upset? Would she take it further? I’m sure I was a bright crimson on the outside. Trying my best to style it out I babbled quickly about how it wasn’t meant for her, it was about someone else and I had accidently sent it to her. Did she buy it? Who knows!! I’m still wide eyed and grimacing slightly about it now, I think I’m safe, I think I managed to turn it around, but the real truth will come tomorrow morning. 

And you would think that this was the end to my day but no……once again I managed to put myself in it. I curse the tube, I hate it, there’s no seats, its too hot and by the time your on your evening commute you’re packed in like a sardine, sweat running unattractively down your back and papers or armpits shoved perilously close to your face. Why oh why a women decided to get on with her toddler and amazingly huge buggy I have no idea…but I shouldn’t curse, it is public transport after all. 

As our journey progressed and the crowds dwindled slightly allowing me to breath the tube came to a stop, the doors swishing open to uncover a large gap between the carriage and the platform. To my side the lady grappled with her buggy, child now fast asleep, whilst the man in front of me, arm across in front of me like a prison bar, stood and did nothing. I couldn’t help it, I never normally say anything but before I could stop and think my mouth was flapping open and in a large and accusing tone said “Are you gonna help her or what?!” He looked astonished and slunk to one side as I pushed past him and grabbed the buggy, my ipod, phone and bag scattering in my wake. Revelling in my heroic deed I was quite proud of myself, for standing up, helping and making those that did nothing feel ashamed. That was until the lady with the buggy smiled and politely told me she wasn’t actually getting off. 

For the second time in the day I could have died. Here I am, throwing my weight around, the whole carriage of commuters looking at me, accusing strangers of doing nothing and it was all for nothing! The women gave me a desperate stare, the accused gentlemen most luckily for me smiled and accepted my apology and I returned to my seat before quickly dialling a friend on my mobile so as to no have to look at anyone left on the train. There may be something in NOT saying things. Why did I, when I never say anything, choose to pipe up on this opinion, in the complete wrong situation. I really had quite a day!

You have a great way of describing your office situation.
The tube: remember that 'no good deed goes unpunished'. You tried to do well with the best of intentions, don't beat yourself up, you won't see the other people again.
As a short-arsed person previously commuting for 4 hours a day through London I had the worst of times on the tube. I was at everyone else's armpit height. As they had their arms raised my nose would be stuck in their stinky glands.
Yuch!
As always, looking forward to your next post!
~Auntie Hazel

Thanks so much for the laugh! Everything that happened that day could have totally happened to me. I have alot of days like that! lol