As many know, I am a novice in love and both romantically & affectionately challenged, but today have been in thought about “The One”. Its still dismal grey here, gardening is being bogged out, the chickens are looking particularly scruffy, and the once clean floor is covered in tiny little paw prints, but I can’t seem to pull my attention and focus away from this eternal question, is there truly “The One”. 

Attraction comes in many forms, sexual, intellectual, a meeting of the minds to mention but a few but can one really and truly meet someone, or even see someone on the street and realise that they are the one? That they are your soul mate, kindred spirit, that they will be the one that you eventually end up with? I find it hard to believe, but then I have never truly been in love, much less stopped short as I saw my soul mate waft past me in the street. Science says that it is pheromones, a chemical signature that we all give off, which stirs those chemicals in others and brings about the crashing violence of sexual attraction. While this can be true, what of instant and unadulterated knowledge that they are your “one”? This cannot be down to chemicals, for chemicals cannot know your fate. Chemicals cannot bring about the meeting of minds of two people who are, at that precise moment, complete strangers. 

Yet talking to people I get the feeling that this strange feeling, the feeling when you meet someone and you just know, is more common than one would imagine. I find it uneasy, I like to think of myself as a free spirit, I choose my path, I decide what’s going to happen, and if I don’t like something then I change it. But how do you rebel against fate? For every twist and turn that you might take fate would just bring you back onto that same path. 

My sister is into her third serious relationship, the previous relationship was headed for marriage but for some small niggling glitch in her heart and she eventually broke it off. They were together for 5 years yet, after only 3months with her current beau, she tells me he is the one. She foresees marriage, children and what’s more, he does too. Some would think, I would think, this is jumping the gun a little, moving way to fast (goodness, it would take me three months before I even said “I like you”. If he started talking about marriage I’d be running through the streets screaming like a terrified banshee!) but I have to admit, she’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her, a joy that is completely pure. My mother too, says she knew she’d marry my Dad before they’d even met, she’d just seen him across the stereotypical crowded room. But it worked, they’re still together after 20years together. 

And what do you have to do to find “the one”? Is it all just down to luck? Because if it is then most of us are most definitely screwed! Or is it that “the one” is one of many possibles? What do you do then if two of them come along at once (or is that called ménage à trois) and how on earth are you supposed to make that decision? It all seems a bit simpler just to be single in my opinion!