Once in a while, every blue moon or so, the hermit has to leave his abode in a bid of freedom and new adventure. Meeting Nik uptown in London’s inaccurately advertised “hip” west end she had organised a late birthday rendezvous for me, getting us tickets for “STOMP” and then dinner reservations after at “Loop”, a funky restaurant/bar. Failing to realise that today was in fact London’s gay pride march I emerged from the tube slightly taken aback by a scene of rippling torso’s, Prada and Gucci sunglasses and bemused looking heterosexual tourists. A gaggle of bitchy and fluorescently dressed drag queens to my left and a semi clad leather biker to my right I quickly disembarked the main streets for the quieter and more recluse alleys of lesser known London. Though gay myself, pride is something that I find altogether cringe worthy, I am not at all into the scene, I hate campness for the sake of campness, and with the babble of “oh darling” and “I love your jockstrap” filling the air I needed to clear my head fast. 

Decked out in my new attire I sort out Nik and off we rushed to Stomp for which we were running several minutes late and didn’t want to miss the beginning of the show. Of course, in my haste, I dashed into a puddle, drenching my new shoes for which I’ve been furiously scrubbing for the past 15 minutes or so in the hopes of clearing the watermarks from the fabric before it sets. It is quite ironic that our love of shoes – especially flamboyant and colourful ones full of feathers, bows, fabric and all manner of things are the one item of clothing at ground level and therefore likely to get the dirtiest. I can breath a slight sigh of relief that they were from ASOS and only £20, but the fact remains that they were brand new and one wearing and I’ve had to scrub them down. 

STOMP itself was like nothing I have seen before, truly inspirational and original. Eight athletic and passionate people creating music and beats with anything from dustbin lids and empty water bottles to stamping brooms on the floor and crunching newspaper. Jumping, dancing, shouting and generally having fun, the members of this cast are wonderful, each bringing a unique style to their performances. Its with fascination that you watched stunned at the sound that they get out of a matchbox, how they create a melody from shaking a plastic bag and an rapping an empty can and the energy that they all have to keep up the atmosphere for an hour and a half. I can truly recommend this great award winning show. 

Spilling out of the theatre afterwards we were once again swept into the hoards of testosterone filled men and pushing our way through the glitter, wings and wigs on display soon found ourselves at the funky and hip bar/restaurant that was “Loop”. 

Nik enlightened me over dinner and finally confessed that she was in fact still in love with her first and ex sweet heart. Breaking up with him nearly a decade ago, several boyfriends later, she had realised that she has deep feelings for him to the point of where she is dreaming about him far too much for her own sanity. An initial reason for breaking up with him was that she felt he would never leave London, that he wasn’t going anywhere, that he had no drive and that if she stayed with him, she too would end up in a rut. Well it seems he has proved her wrong, moving to Thailand to pursue a career in Thai Boxing after splitting up with his ex, a mutual friend of his and Nik’s. Could it be love? Could he have never truly got over Nik? The initial break up was bad on him, and it for many months he continued his affections for her, trying to break her mind. I decided that we must immediately board a plane, go to Thailand and get these questions answered immediately! It’s hard not to imagine a more romantic scene of them finally finding each other, being at the right place at the right time both emotionally and physically. A Thai wedding it is! 

A few drinks and dinner later and I padded quietly home, reminiscing our evening whilst desperately needing the toilet. Why is it that when we men get drunk we lose all capacity at holding our bladders? It is no wonder we start peeing in alleyways and car parks when some strange physically abnormal function slackens our bladder control as soon as we put any amount of alcoholic beverage into our system. Rushing from the tube towards the closest toilet, a Burger King a mere couple of minutes away, I desperately tried to hold on and failed to notice the new sign above the shop -“BBQ Grill”. Making a last minute dash through the shop and past the counter, I found it strange that there seemed to be an unusual amount of clutter filling the corridor, but at this precise moment there was no time to stop and think normally and it wasn’t until I was sat on the grossly unclean toilet, any small glimmer of modesty gone, that it dawned, to my horror, that in fact these were no longer public toilets! In my haste and moment of need I had failed to recognise that I had in fact passed through the public area into the staff area, through the corridor which was now in fact a store room and was now perched on a bowl that looked and indeed smelt as if it hadn’t been cleaned in a decade. I was, as you can imagine, greeted by some curious looks as I re-emerged from the “private” area which I now saw clearly printed on the door, and quickly made my way towards the exit, my cheeks flushing a deep red as I went! Still, no one actually said anything, and I’m sure my actively flushing the toilet left it cleaner than it had been to start with!!

STOMP

Creating beats and rhythms from everyday objects such as brooms, empty office water bottles and rubbish bags the eight performers bring vibes alive with passion and excitment. Stunning the audience with the sounds and melodies that they create each performer brings their own unique style to the performance making the 1hr 40min show an exhilerating ride to fill the senses.

LOOP

Advertised as a fun, funky and friendly bar, Loop certainly has a relaxed atmosphere. The staff were friendly and out going, the venue large, and the restaurant modernly decorated. The food is rather on the safe side, being a mixture of your basic english cuisine and modern European twists, which whilst is good and worth the price does not doing anything to blow your taste buds away. The funky vibe was more mainstream that one would hope - though saying this, Loop stands up as a classy and well governed west end bar which will happily fulfill those wishing for a traditional west end night out.